I am going to start posting the geeky jokes I find as a series. These are more for me to make them easy to find, as I cannot seem to recall any of them when I need to. Here is the first one which I also tweeted: Yo mama’s so slow and dumb that she can be emulated on a 286.
CNR [ via xkcd.com ]
Ah, this brings back fond memories of my time in the valley – awesome! :) Credit goes to this post of the NY Times.
Save the whales. Feed the hungry. Free the mallocs. - Anonymous
Got this via Megha and it is absolutely brilliant – ah the memories it brings back. I first though of adding links for the “bloody civvies” who don’t get this – but changed my mind as it is not meant for them. :) You know you are a pure breed fauji kid if: You were born in a Military Hospital. Half your toddler years were spent being looked after by Bhaiyas (no explanation here). You went to school either on Bhaiya’s cycle or in a Shaktiman. You know what a Shaktiman is. ( No! it isn’t the TV serial about half man and half machine starring AB lookalike). Jeeps and Jongas don’t excite you - they were your regular mode of transport! The only alternative to the Central School was the Army School. You always called Kendriya Vidyalaya Central School. Gosh even today that sounds better! Your entire family could survive in one room temporary quarters with 25 trunks, wooden crates, the dog, the bedroll and two bhaiyas flitting around. The smell of Brasso and shoe polish was regular staple. Mess was not what you created in your room, it was where you went every Friday for the free “English” movie. The “English Movie” was very often a western and you couldn’t follow a word! Sometimes you just went for the samosas and the local drink that they insisted was Cola. At the end of the month your dad had to pay for many pink slips showing how many samosas and local drinks that they insisted was Cola you had consumed. They never missed any!!! You attended many May Queen Balls before you knew what Miss India was. Your mother regularly got dressed, perfumed and dissappeared for the Ladies Club. You knew towns like Mhow, Wellington, Deolali and Bhuj. You weren’t a millionaire but hey you had Swimming, Horse Riding, Squash, Tennis and Golf!! You thought the main reason to have a Institute was to have a Holi Bash. You can still take one quick look at the epaulets and figure out the rank. You discussed Wednesday’s Chitrahaar in the Shaktiman. You can still recall the special & particular smell of the CSD canteen! A special prize for the correct concoction - mine is - it was a mix of Hamam Soap, Ponds Dreamflower Talc & Surf I think. In some corners it had overtures of Brooke Bond red Label as well. Your vacations were a package deal consisting of D-forms, Sharma Uncle Ka jonga and EME Mess ka kamra ...
If you have been following me on Twitter , you will see a few of the following few geeky your momma jokes. Your momma is so fat and stupid, her dress size is int.MaxValue and her IQ is int.MinValue. Your momma so fat, she has her own address space. (this is my favourite) And of course there are loads more . ...
Well, not really – am not moving my study at home, but if I was this feels like that. IMAGE_005 IMAGE_007
This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India … of course English is not their strong point. 1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows: Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave. 2. This is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was performing the “ mundan ” ceremony of his 10 year old son: “as I want to shave my son’s head, please leave me for two days…” ...
This is pretty cool – saw it on BBC’s One Show, a dog saying Red Rum .
A fart it is a pleasant thing, It gives the belly ease, It warms the bed in winter, And suffocates the fleas. A fart can be quiet, A fart can be loud, And some often leave A powerful, poisonous cloud. A fart can be short, Or a fart can be long, Some farts have been known To sound like a song…. A fart can create A curious medley, A fart can be harmless, Or silent , and deadly. ...
{ via Phil Wheat }
Haven’t seen this one: clip_image002
I got this from a fellow Avanut, and I thought it was quite hilarious … however a few around me did not think so – they of course don’t have any taste. 😉 A byte walks into a bar and orders a drink. Bartender asks him “What’s wrong?” Byte says “Parity error.” Bartender nods and says “Yeah, I thought you looked a bit off.”
Some people just have too much time on their hands! { via Artcar }
My Nerd Test results … hmm …
job security image Click to open original image.
Someone sure loves XP and their progress bar! {via Karan }
This is not one of the “jokes”, but is one of the “real” ones I got. Maybe about time I got around to installing Firefox 3 then. :)
(c) Science Cartoons
Please be advised that there are NEW RULES and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of the firm. Transportation: It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary. If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you drive a 10 year old car or use public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise. If you drive a pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. Annual Leave: Each employee will receive 52 annual leave days a year they are called Sunday. ...
Macbook Air vs. Lenovo Ultraportal (via Cuan)
Need I say more ? {via thedogmatix }
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/duty_calls.png
Of course the assert does not work.